White Settlement....Enough Said....

I got a ticket a few weeks ago in White Settlement for an expired inspection sticker as I was leaving work.  I'd like to share the experience with you.  (Let me go ahead and confirm that White Settlement is ghetto, and gross and white trash....just like it sounds)  I mean, White Settlement.  Even the name sounds stupid.  I just don't understand why they work SO HARD to live up to it. 

Here's my recount of the traffic stop:


Officer:  Ma'am, (tap tap tap on my windshield) you're being stopped b/c your inspection sticker is expired.  I need to see your license and registration

Me:  Ok (thinking:  "don't touch my car please" and "well isn't that great...I just want to freaking get home for the day you jackass....find something to do, this is White Settlement.....YOU HAVE OPTIONS!")


(Officer walks back to his car....presumably to call in the info on my DL....or maybe just get out of the hellish heat while I looked for my insurance card)


Side note:  I'm really not worried at this point..just tired and want to go home....I mean, it's an inspection sticker.... I'm not endangering anyone.....I'm going to take the warning, smile sweetly and drive away feeling sad that this ridiculous, power hungry little man never got chosen on the playground to play kickball with the other kids.....


Officer:  Here's your ticket showing that you are in violation of current vehicle inspection.  You'll need to contact the court at the number on top to take care of this.   Did you find your insurance card?


Me:  You're not going to give me a warning?!?  I'm getting a ticket?  Really?


Officer:  Yes, ma'am...we don't issue warnings, we ticket....


Me:  (well isn't that something to be proud of....hows your Little Man's Syndrome treating you today?)...  Ok, well, I cant find my insurance card.


Officer:  (as he's marking the additional "offense" on my ticket).  Ok, well, find proof of insurance and that should be dismissed in court


Me:  Do you have any idea how much this costs?  What is the fine for this? 


Officer:  I'm not sure.


Me:  You don't even have a guess?  You don't have any experience with these?  (thinking:  oh really?  this is your first inspection sticker stop ever?  Shouldn't we both get some sort of celebratory toast or high five or something for this amazing milestone in your career?)


Officer:  No, ma'am.....you need to call the number on the top.  (circles some info on the back of the ticket)


Me:  I guess at this point, you really don't care how much it costs, huh?


Officer:  Be safe...have a good evening.


I say nothing and drive away.   I'm pissed.  This is White Settlement.....the people inside of the house we stopped in front of were probably doing drugs and abusing their children and wants to talk to me about an inspection sticker?  Man!  You gotta find something to do!   Go direct traffic at a Ranger game or something....


I get home, read the circled part of the back of the ticket and realize that if the inspection is done within 10 days of the violation, the ticket is dismissed.  CLEARLY the officer knew that.....HE CIRCLED IT ON THE PAGE.....  so when I asked about the cost, he couldn't have referenced that?   Dick.


Anyway, in the next few days I get my car inspected. and head to the courthouse.  I'm sorry, I cant even call it that....that makes it sound like a respectable, large building for judicial activities.  This was merely a building....plain, tiny, and sterile.  I walk in, show my proof of registration, and proof of passed inspection and prepared to pay the administration fee of $20 and be on my way.   Oh no.  The clerk informs me that I need to see a judge, and that only takes place once a month on Saturday mornings.  Ok.  Sounds great....I get to come back.  I sign up for the next court session, and leave thinking "this could be resolved if they would just look at my paperwork and take the $20.....but whatever....."


Fast Forward to today.   It's court Saturday.  YAY for me....I'm up at 7:15am.


Please note that it hasn't rained in north Texas in literally months.  Horrible drought.  What do you know?  TODAY, it's raining.  Perfect day to head to White Settlement for court.


I get there 30 minutes early to realize that there is already a line standing outside IN THE RAIN.  I dig around in my trunk for my umbrella and head to the line with all the other people that are being treated like criminals.  We can see the people inside the building, but allowing us to stand in the lobby was too much to ask, so we got to stand in the rain. 


Finally, as the line begins to wrap around the building, we are granted admission to the lovely building and they have us sign in and give us a form to fill out for each offense that we had.  The lady hollers out "Please fill out the forms and return the pencils when you're finished".  At this point I was thinking.....couldn't they have one form and then just have multiple lines for you to write the offenses on?  Wouldn't that make more sense?  Again.....whatever.  So, I fill two of them out....exact same info except one was for no insurance and one was for expired inspection.  After you sign the sign in and are given the forms, you are asked to return the pencil and then just stand around until the cop calls your name to go into the courtroom.


By the time I finished my paperwork, there were probably 200 people in this tiny little place.  Irritating part is that there are NO signs, no friendly people, and no way to know where to go or what to do if you have just arrived.  It took me literally .5 seconds to decide that I would be leaving court with a new pencil b/c I was not about to walk through all those people to return a shittin' pencil.  I mean, I've been to court 2 times now to take care of this ridiculous "offense" and now I"m up early, in close quarters with these trashy (and some of them wet) people and the pencil now has a new home....in my purse.   I consider it my gift from White Settlement.  Hell, I've earned it.


Imagine this with me....  when you walk in the door, you go to the left wall to sign up and get the forms to fill out, to the right against the wall are the courtroom doors.  Now imagine 200 clueless, mostly trashy people in-between in lines that wrapped back and forth (imagine the roller coaster lines at Six Flags) one lining up for court (people that finished paperwork) and one for people needing to sign in and get paperwork.  There is no way to tell which line is for what so the people that are just arriving are totally screwed as far as getting to the correct place.  Then all the people in the lines already are sure those people are trying to cut ahead to the front so they're yelling "back of the line is back here" and "you cant just walk up to the front".  I just sat there laughing to myself thinking "look at this place.....how would you ever know what the front of the line was supposed to be..... We're about to have a cat fight between bra less, overweight women in tank tops and rough looking dudes in Nascar shirts here pretty soon if someone doesn't implement some structure to this here court process.

Next, a cop comes out and raises his voice over the crowd of people and says "I need your attention to explain how this is going to work.....keep the noise level down please".  At this point some white trash, guy (I'd bet a million dollars he was a union worker at my place of employment with a serious chip on his shoulder) hollers out "speak up we cant hear you".....   Apparently the officer didn't like that too much b/c he responded with "No I will not speak up.  This is as loud as I will be talking for the rest of the morning.  If the noise level does not stay at a reasonable level, I will send the entire place home and you will have to come back on another day.  I will file contempt on the entire group and you will be done for the day".  

I mean, really.....this guy is going to send all of us home b/c he didn't like the noise level?  Holy crapola....another cop on a power trip.  All I could think of was the elementary school cafeteria when the lunch lady (Mrs. Hamilton...aww, I liked her) would walk over and turn the lights out and yell "If yall dont keep it down, yall arent having ice cream on Friday"....  It was the exact same thing....my little heart stirred with anxiety thinking "oh no, ghetto White Settlement friends, let's not let that happen!"  Secretly, I rolled my eyes and thought "dude, you just try to send all of us home and see what that does to your noise level!!"  He did proceed to tell us that we would be called in to see the judge 2-3 people at a time, and to listen for our name to be called.

So, I sit there with my TWO IDENTICAL FORMS filled out waiting to hear my name being called to see the judge.  Since I was in the first 20 people to sign up, it actually didn't take very long.  I went in, presented my paperwork proving that I was, in fact, covered by insurance at the time of the stop, and I did go get my car inspected within 10 days of the violation.  Check and check.  Judge was nice and said "Dismissed on both charges..... you owe only the $20 administrative fee which is due in the next 7 days however, you cannot pay today.   You must return to this building to pay within 7 days or you will have a warrant for your arrest".   SERIOUSLY????  YOU CANT TAKE MY MONEY WHILE I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE??  I smile politely and say "ok, thank you" and secretly grit my teeth at the idea of coming back a THIRD TIME to pay this ridiculous crappy city my $20.  As I turn to leave, I realize I'm still holding the two forms that I was given when I signed in.   I asked the clerk sitting beside the judge what to do with them and she whispered back "just throw them away".

Wait.  Wait.  Wait.

I'm sorry, come again?  Throw them away?  What?   You had me stand with hundreds of people, fill out TWO IDENTICAL FORMS and steal your coveted pencil for a form that NO ONE LOOKS AT??  THIS PLACE IS SO STUPID.....IN EVERY ASPECT.  Ok, so the forms have no purpose and I shoved them in my purse, laughing again at this entire morning.  I hope they have a recycle program actually b/c I bet they have a lot of those freaking forms piling up in the trash can every Saturday after court.

Whatever.  It was over....and over fairly quickly since I got there so early.  I thought the entire way home though about their process and how truly awful it is.  I mean you have people in a 8 foot wide hallway trying to figure out where to go, maneuver around a couple hundred other people, and actually accomplish what they're there for. 

Don't make fun, but my job is process improvement, and my mind is totally wired for that sort of thing.....so on Saturday night, I whipped this up as an illustration for my blog.  (thanks for reading, by the way)....  I didn't have the Microsoft Visio program which is great for process flow maps and would have made a much better picture but all I had was PowerPoint, so I used it.  You'll get my point anyway. 

(Disclaimer:  I totally wanted to go out on Saturday and no one was available to do anything....so I sat at home with Shelby doing laundry and thinking about this ridiculous experience and how a map might help to convey how retarded this whole process is.... please don't worry that I've lost all social skills and choose to stay home and do process improvements....I truly havent....this just kinda happened).  Don't judge.

Ok, here is the current STUPID process....

I cant help it.....  I'm nerdy and I kinda love process mapping and process improvements.  So what.  ;-)

Hopefully, when I go pay my $20 this whole experience will come to a close. 

I'll say it again...  YOU CANT FIX STUPID.