Praise You In This Storm

There is sadness all around me right now.   I mean real, heart-breaking pain and anguish.  These are the times that it's confusing to be a Christian b/c my earthly mind wants the Lord to reach down, and eliminate the pain or at least give me a straight answer about why good people that love Him, and follow Him are in such trying times.   I cant get an answer that my human mind will be able to understand....I know that......nor does the God of the Universe owe me an answer......I know that as well.     I also know that God's Word (the Bible) is FULL of good people, that loved Him and followed Him and went through some horrific times.   Most of them still managed to praise Him, believe Him, and hope in Him during those times.  I know that wanting an answer is selfish, and my faith knows that there is not a reason I will ever understand.....but I still wish for one.

This weekend, I went to Austin to be with my grandmother who had surgery and to be with my family during a particularly difficult time.   I cant describe the burden and the worry that I feel when I see the people that mean more to me than anything hurting in such an incredible way.  I want to be able to just fix it....to say something, do something, or make something happen that will just take their pain and dissolve it.  Of course I am not able to do that....so I find myself just hurting right alongside them.  I wish there was a way that I could have asked God to give me the sadness, and give me the painful situation and spared my loved one. 

I cant stop tearing up each time I think about my family member who is experiencing so much pain.  She quoted the Casting Crowns song called "Praise You In This Storm".  I honestly am floored and honored to even KNOW someone with a faith this solid and this strong.  I didn't....even once....hear her ask "why me", or doubt that the Lord was right there with her, or that He was still who He says He is....no matter what we are going through. I AM SO PROUD OF HER.  I am praying to become this type of a believer, and have determined that I have a long way to go.

Saturday night I went to dinner with both of my sisters.  It was just the three of us, and it was a much needed night together.   I get so unbelievably emotional about my sisters, and my relationship with them.  It's beyond anything that I could describe to anyone....so we just have to say we are "really close".  Somehow, I feel like that doesn't even scratch the surface in describing what these two girls mean to me. 

**Warning....this is about to get very sappy & emotional...you know I just get like this....I cant help it...your choice to keep reading or not**

Our parents have done a lot of things for us and worked really hard to provide for us and teach us.  Out of all that they did, I am most grateful for the relationship with my sisters and that they instilled in us that we were to look out for each other, be kind to each other, and ultimately be life-long friends.  They succeed on all three accounts.  I am humbled, and truly moved by Kristi and Karin and the incredible people that they are and the bond we share. 

The three of us are an interesting mix of seemingly the EXACT SAME people, but POLAR OPPOSITE people at the same time.  The dynamic between the three personalities is just cool....for the most part, we just "get" each other.  We share inside jokes that make us laugh until we pee our pants that NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD would understand or find funny.  I love, love, love that I can be honest with them about my thoughts, my actions, and my situations and know that even if they don't agree they will accept me, support me and love me no matter what.   I have been blessed beyond anything that I deserve and I know it, and I'm forever grateful.

Rascal Flatts has a song out right now called "I Wont Let Go".   Originally, when I heard the song, it reminded me of the sister that also loves Rascal Flatts and goes to see them in concert with me every year.  However, the words are just too perfect....and it actually reminds me of BOTH sisters....which is somewhat unfortunate b/c the other sister HATES Rascal Flatts.  (she needs to just imagine Casting Crowns singing it instead...ahhhh, better, huh?)  :-)   Check out the lyrics. 

It’s like a storm
That cuts a path
It’s breaks your will
It feels like that

You think your lost
But you're not lost on your own
You're not alone

Chorus:
I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
If you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go

It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it’s dark
This part of life
Oh it finds us all
And we’re too small
To stop the rain
Oh but when it rains

(chorus)

And I won't let you fall
Don’t be afraid to fall
I’m right here to catch you
I wont let you down
It wont get you down
Your gonna make it
Yea I know you can make it

(chorus)

Isn't that awesome???  I KNOW!!!  It still doesn't fully describe it.... but it's a good attempt.    I love these girls more than life itself and always will.  My cup overflows!

Psalm 34:18  The LORD is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.