ENGAGED!

Thursday, November 17th, 2011 started out like every other day.....but it certainly didn't end up like every other day!

At 3pm, my boss had scheduled a meeting with me.  I went in to see her and she said "What are you working on?"  I love my boss, and she normally asks that question when he has an urgent, top priority project that has just come up that she needs someone to work.  I responded, "Nothing that has to be finished today....do you need me to do something?"  She said, "Yes, I need you to pack up and head home for the day", and reached into her desk drawer to hand me a small blue envelope.  Now considering that my place of employment is in the middle of layoffs.....this is NOT what you want your boss to say.  However, she turned the card for me to read the front, and I saw "BETH SHAVER" in Caleb's handwriting.  When I opened the card, I found a tiny square piece of paper, and a index card that read:


The workday for you is done, for it's time to have some fun.
Your presence at the house is requested.  Let's hope the traffic is not congested.  Love, Caleb


I asked her what she knew, and she said she knew nothing more than Caleb's request for me to head home at 3pm and to deliver the card.  I thank her, scurry to my cube to round up my things, and call my sisters as I'm heading to the car.  When both sisters are on the line, I explain what just happened and how my heart is beating kinda fast with anticipation.  When I get to my car, I find a note on the windshield with another random square tiny piece of paper with what appears to be part of a map.  This note says:


Now is not the time to delay, for you will always remember events of today.
On the way home, try not to let anyone pass....so let's go!  Move your ass!


My sisters got a true kick out of the "move your ass" part....and so did I.  That's my Caleb!


I get to the house, and realize that his truck is not in the driveway.  I assumed that I beat him, and he would meet me shortly.  I walked to the door to find another note and another small square piece of what appears to be a map.  This note one read:


You see that I am not here.  When you find me, I'll bring you great cheer.
The next clue of this mystery can be found with your precious Shelby....


I'm so excited at this point (and still on the phone with my sisters) that I cant get in the door fast enough.  However, when I do, I hear Rascal Flatts playing over the stereo.  To make this even more perfect, the song was "Feels Like Today".....   eeeeeee!!!  Amazing.


I run to Shelby and find the cutest envelope labeled "MOM" around her neck with red ribbon.  Her note also included a small piece to a map, and a card that says:


Tonight we will have drinks while we dine, all the while dressed to the nines....


OMG!  Whatever we're doing, I'm going to need to dress up..... so I head to the closet.  As I'm walking through the bathroom, I see a long stemmed rose, a glass of wine, and my strapless, red formal dress hanging on the door with a card attached.  The envelope says "you're gonna look hot".  The card on the inside reads:


This is a good occasion to wear this dress for events of today will relieve your stress....


Keep in mind that the sisters are all still on the phone.  At this point I say, "do you think we might get engaged?  oh my gosh....he's put a lot of effort into planning this!!"  Both sisters tell me to stay calm and not be mean if tonight is not an engagement b/c Caleb put a lot of thought, and planning into whatever this might be.  I tell myself that they're right, and that even if we are not getting engaged that this is going to be a good night.


The final card and piece of a map was sitting next to my glass of red wine and it said:


We've not been to this place that I know, It is a place where flowers grow.
You know where to go from what you have seen, meet me there at 5:15pm


At this point I realize that all the little random squares of paper are pieces of a map that fit together to direct me to the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens.   My heart is racing as I get dressed and try to remain calm. 

The map told me where to go, where to park, and where to walk to meet him.  I drove there feeling pretty, and feeling excited, and very special that he had put this much work into whatever we were doing.  Of course I was hoping we were getting engaged, but I was content and thrilled at whatever he had up his sleeve.

I totally felt like the chicks on the Bachelor during the final rose ceremony. It's so elegant, and exciting, and they're dressed in these gorgeous gowns, and generally, they have a pier, or stairway, or pathway to walk down to meet their bachelor.  It seems as though every time during each season they can see him down at the end of the walkway but they have to make this amazing yet nerve-racking walk down to the end to meet him.  I got to live this feeling!   I got out of my car and begin walking the path that the map depicted for me.  As I walked this incredible tree-lined sidewalk, I could see my bachelor sitting on the steps by the gazebo in the garden.  He looked amazing in his suit and red tie that matched my red dress.  I couldn't wait to get up to see him, but my legs felt like jelly and I didn't want to trip and ruin this perfect moment.

Eventually, I DID get to him as he was sitting on the steps looking ridiculously hot and holding yet another rose....  (again, I felt like I was attending the final rose ceremony of the Bachelor.....it was surreal)   As I approached him, he greeted me and told me that I looked beautiful.  He then turned over his fist to reveal a tiny ring box and asked "Should we do this?"  OH MY GOSH!!!!  SHOULD WE DO THIS???  YES, YES, YES!!  I leaned down to kiss him (he was still seated on the steps) and gave him my hand to slip my INCREDIBLE RING on.  


I'm giddy just re-living that moment as I describe it to you.  I couldn't stop smiling or staring at it.   He informed me that we had dinner plans, and asked if I was ready to go.  I replied that I didn't think I could feel my legs and I needed a moment before walking back to the vehicles.  We walked up to the bench at the gazebo and talked for a bit.  I cant explain the feelings.....  but it felt as though a sense of peace, calmness and happiness came over me.  I love this man, and to see my hope of a life with him become a reality was extremely special.


A short bit later we headed to the car and drove over to Bob's Chop House which is the most amazing steak house in the whole wide world.  It's located in the Omni Hotel downtown, and it is completely scrumptious.  We got there a little before our reservation and had time to grab a drink at the wine bar next to the restaurant.  The bartender asked why we were dressed up, and then proceeded to give us complimentary champagne to toast our engagement.  It was fantastic.  


As we walked in to Bob's Steakhouse to be seated we walked right past Nolan Ryan who was eating with another gentleman.   I stopped to tell him my good news, and felt flattered at his compliments of my dress and my new engagement ring.  Yes, Nolan Ryan himself congratulated me on my engagement.  Pretty freaking cool.


We ate a fantastic dinner, and I sat across from Caleb and felt like my entire world was right.  I'm extremely lucky, and I'm very excited about my future with him.  I want him to be happy, and know that he is loved every single day for the rest of his life.  I intend to make sure that he does.

So there it is.....that's the engagement story.   I can't believe the incredible detail and planning Caleb put into this evening for us.  He has certainly raised the bar!!

Don't worry, I intend to take engagement pictures in the exact same place wearing the exact same clothes....re-enacting the exact same events.  I have to have it captured.

Alright, that's all.....pretty darn perfect, huh?   Now excuse me while I go practice writing my new last name! 

These are a few of my favorite things.....

Putting on my make-up this morning, I started thinking about “Oprah’s Favorite Things” show….you know, the one where she shows her “favorite things” (that are usually un-Godly expensive).  I started thinking about how awesome my Lancome makeup is, and that if there was an opportunity to have “Beth’s Favorite Things”, my make-up would DEFINITELY be included.  

….and then I just kept going……   so here is my list of favorite things……

·         Sisters. 

·         Dogs…Cuddles, Daisy, Brandi and my incredible Shelby. 

·         Diet Cherry Vanilla Cokes from Sonic. 

·         Lancome cleanser and foundation. 

·         Clinique’s Moisture Surge. 

·         Country Music. 

·         Nanny. 

·         Hugs. 

·         Ocean views in Hawaii. 

·         Fast cars. 

·         My parents.

·         Children belly laughing.

·         Chocolate/Peanut Butter combination. 

·         Jewelry. 

·         Texas A&M. 

·         Mother Teresa. 

·         Kindness. 

·         Freedom. 

·         Soldiers. 

·         America. 

·         Massages. 

·         Naps. 

·         Two-stepping (with someone that knows what they’re doing). 

·         Mahgee’s macaroni & cheese. 

·         Brighton. 

·         Sam Moon. 

·         Money. 

·         GPS. 

·         Cell phones. 

·         Tradition.

·         Chocolate Milk. 

·         Sgt Byron W Norwood. 

·         Conscience. 

·         Abby & AJ. 

·         Movie:  The Notebook. 

·         Caleb.

·         Church. 

·         Clean sheets. 

·         Scentsy. 

·         Puppy Breath. 

·         Silver Taps. 

·         Aggie Muster. 

·         Air Travel. 

·         Sister Trips. 

·         Women of Faith conferences with mom and sisters. 

·         Frozen custard. 

·         Clean, white teeth. 

·         Holding hands. 

·         Cuddling. 

·         Laughing until you cry. 

·         Cool weather. 

·         Old People. 

·         My car. 

·         Pedicures. 

·         Soaring eagles. 

·         Deer in Karin’s neighborhood. 

·         Jeans, sweatshirts & tennis shoes. 

·         The game TABOO. 

·         Tulips. 

·         Hospitals. 

·         Wild animals…especially bears and big cats. 

·         Fishing. 

·         Hot air balloons. 

·         Grandpa’s prayers

·         School.

·         Writing.

·         Horses.

·         Wine.

·         Surprises.

·         White cheese queso.

That's probably enough.   *smile*

White Settlement....Enough Said....

I got a ticket a few weeks ago in White Settlement for an expired inspection sticker as I was leaving work.  I'd like to share the experience with you.  (Let me go ahead and confirm that White Settlement is ghetto, and gross and white trash....just like it sounds)  I mean, White Settlement.  Even the name sounds stupid.  I just don't understand why they work SO HARD to live up to it. 

Here's my recount of the traffic stop:


Officer:  Ma'am, (tap tap tap on my windshield) you're being stopped b/c your inspection sticker is expired.  I need to see your license and registration

Me:  Ok (thinking:  "don't touch my car please" and "well isn't that great...I just want to freaking get home for the day you jackass....find something to do, this is White Settlement.....YOU HAVE OPTIONS!")


(Officer walks back to his car....presumably to call in the info on my DL....or maybe just get out of the hellish heat while I looked for my insurance card)


Side note:  I'm really not worried at this point..just tired and want to go home....I mean, it's an inspection sticker.... I'm not endangering anyone.....I'm going to take the warning, smile sweetly and drive away feeling sad that this ridiculous, power hungry little man never got chosen on the playground to play kickball with the other kids.....


Officer:  Here's your ticket showing that you are in violation of current vehicle inspection.  You'll need to contact the court at the number on top to take care of this.   Did you find your insurance card?


Me:  You're not going to give me a warning?!?  I'm getting a ticket?  Really?


Officer:  Yes, ma'am...we don't issue warnings, we ticket....


Me:  (well isn't that something to be proud of....hows your Little Man's Syndrome treating you today?)...  Ok, well, I cant find my insurance card.


Officer:  (as he's marking the additional "offense" on my ticket).  Ok, well, find proof of insurance and that should be dismissed in court


Me:  Do you have any idea how much this costs?  What is the fine for this? 


Officer:  I'm not sure.


Me:  You don't even have a guess?  You don't have any experience with these?  (thinking:  oh really?  this is your first inspection sticker stop ever?  Shouldn't we both get some sort of celebratory toast or high five or something for this amazing milestone in your career?)


Officer:  No, ma'am.....you need to call the number on the top.  (circles some info on the back of the ticket)


Me:  I guess at this point, you really don't care how much it costs, huh?


Officer:  Be safe...have a good evening.


I say nothing and drive away.   I'm pissed.  This is White Settlement.....the people inside of the house we stopped in front of were probably doing drugs and abusing their children and wants to talk to me about an inspection sticker?  Man!  You gotta find something to do!   Go direct traffic at a Ranger game or something....


I get home, read the circled part of the back of the ticket and realize that if the inspection is done within 10 days of the violation, the ticket is dismissed.  CLEARLY the officer knew that.....HE CIRCLED IT ON THE PAGE.....  so when I asked about the cost, he couldn't have referenced that?   Dick.


Anyway, in the next few days I get my car inspected. and head to the courthouse.  I'm sorry, I cant even call it that....that makes it sound like a respectable, large building for judicial activities.  This was merely a building....plain, tiny, and sterile.  I walk in, show my proof of registration, and proof of passed inspection and prepared to pay the administration fee of $20 and be on my way.   Oh no.  The clerk informs me that I need to see a judge, and that only takes place once a month on Saturday mornings.  Ok.  Sounds great....I get to come back.  I sign up for the next court session, and leave thinking "this could be resolved if they would just look at my paperwork and take the $20.....but whatever....."


Fast Forward to today.   It's court Saturday.  YAY for me....I'm up at 7:15am.


Please note that it hasn't rained in north Texas in literally months.  Horrible drought.  What do you know?  TODAY, it's raining.  Perfect day to head to White Settlement for court.


I get there 30 minutes early to realize that there is already a line standing outside IN THE RAIN.  I dig around in my trunk for my umbrella and head to the line with all the other people that are being treated like criminals.  We can see the people inside the building, but allowing us to stand in the lobby was too much to ask, so we got to stand in the rain. 


Finally, as the line begins to wrap around the building, we are granted admission to the lovely building and they have us sign in and give us a form to fill out for each offense that we had.  The lady hollers out "Please fill out the forms and return the pencils when you're finished".  At this point I was thinking.....couldn't they have one form and then just have multiple lines for you to write the offenses on?  Wouldn't that make more sense?  Again.....whatever.  So, I fill two of them out....exact same info except one was for no insurance and one was for expired inspection.  After you sign the sign in and are given the forms, you are asked to return the pencil and then just stand around until the cop calls your name to go into the courtroom.


By the time I finished my paperwork, there were probably 200 people in this tiny little place.  Irritating part is that there are NO signs, no friendly people, and no way to know where to go or what to do if you have just arrived.  It took me literally .5 seconds to decide that I would be leaving court with a new pencil b/c I was not about to walk through all those people to return a shittin' pencil.  I mean, I've been to court 2 times now to take care of this ridiculous "offense" and now I"m up early, in close quarters with these trashy (and some of them wet) people and the pencil now has a new home....in my purse.   I consider it my gift from White Settlement.  Hell, I've earned it.


Imagine this with me....  when you walk in the door, you go to the left wall to sign up and get the forms to fill out, to the right against the wall are the courtroom doors.  Now imagine 200 clueless, mostly trashy people in-between in lines that wrapped back and forth (imagine the roller coaster lines at Six Flags) one lining up for court (people that finished paperwork) and one for people needing to sign in and get paperwork.  There is no way to tell which line is for what so the people that are just arriving are totally screwed as far as getting to the correct place.  Then all the people in the lines already are sure those people are trying to cut ahead to the front so they're yelling "back of the line is back here" and "you cant just walk up to the front".  I just sat there laughing to myself thinking "look at this place.....how would you ever know what the front of the line was supposed to be..... We're about to have a cat fight between bra less, overweight women in tank tops and rough looking dudes in Nascar shirts here pretty soon if someone doesn't implement some structure to this here court process.

Next, a cop comes out and raises his voice over the crowd of people and says "I need your attention to explain how this is going to work.....keep the noise level down please".  At this point some white trash, guy (I'd bet a million dollars he was a union worker at my place of employment with a serious chip on his shoulder) hollers out "speak up we cant hear you".....   Apparently the officer didn't like that too much b/c he responded with "No I will not speak up.  This is as loud as I will be talking for the rest of the morning.  If the noise level does not stay at a reasonable level, I will send the entire place home and you will have to come back on another day.  I will file contempt on the entire group and you will be done for the day".  

I mean, really.....this guy is going to send all of us home b/c he didn't like the noise level?  Holy crapola....another cop on a power trip.  All I could think of was the elementary school cafeteria when the lunch lady (Mrs. Hamilton...aww, I liked her) would walk over and turn the lights out and yell "If yall dont keep it down, yall arent having ice cream on Friday"....  It was the exact same thing....my little heart stirred with anxiety thinking "oh no, ghetto White Settlement friends, let's not let that happen!"  Secretly, I rolled my eyes and thought "dude, you just try to send all of us home and see what that does to your noise level!!"  He did proceed to tell us that we would be called in to see the judge 2-3 people at a time, and to listen for our name to be called.

So, I sit there with my TWO IDENTICAL FORMS filled out waiting to hear my name being called to see the judge.  Since I was in the first 20 people to sign up, it actually didn't take very long.  I went in, presented my paperwork proving that I was, in fact, covered by insurance at the time of the stop, and I did go get my car inspected within 10 days of the violation.  Check and check.  Judge was nice and said "Dismissed on both charges..... you owe only the $20 administrative fee which is due in the next 7 days however, you cannot pay today.   You must return to this building to pay within 7 days or you will have a warrant for your arrest".   SERIOUSLY????  YOU CANT TAKE MY MONEY WHILE I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE??  I smile politely and say "ok, thank you" and secretly grit my teeth at the idea of coming back a THIRD TIME to pay this ridiculous crappy city my $20.  As I turn to leave, I realize I'm still holding the two forms that I was given when I signed in.   I asked the clerk sitting beside the judge what to do with them and she whispered back "just throw them away".

Wait.  Wait.  Wait.

I'm sorry, come again?  Throw them away?  What?   You had me stand with hundreds of people, fill out TWO IDENTICAL FORMS and steal your coveted pencil for a form that NO ONE LOOKS AT??  THIS PLACE IS SO STUPID.....IN EVERY ASPECT.  Ok, so the forms have no purpose and I shoved them in my purse, laughing again at this entire morning.  I hope they have a recycle program actually b/c I bet they have a lot of those freaking forms piling up in the trash can every Saturday after court.

Whatever.  It was over....and over fairly quickly since I got there so early.  I thought the entire way home though about their process and how truly awful it is.  I mean you have people in a 8 foot wide hallway trying to figure out where to go, maneuver around a couple hundred other people, and actually accomplish what they're there for. 

Don't make fun, but my job is process improvement, and my mind is totally wired for that sort of thing.....so on Saturday night, I whipped this up as an illustration for my blog.  (thanks for reading, by the way)....  I didn't have the Microsoft Visio program which is great for process flow maps and would have made a much better picture but all I had was PowerPoint, so I used it.  You'll get my point anyway. 

(Disclaimer:  I totally wanted to go out on Saturday and no one was available to do anything....so I sat at home with Shelby doing laundry and thinking about this ridiculous experience and how a map might help to convey how retarded this whole process is.... please don't worry that I've lost all social skills and choose to stay home and do process improvements....I truly havent....this just kinda happened).  Don't judge.

Ok, here is the current STUPID process....

I cant help it.....  I'm nerdy and I kinda love process mapping and process improvements.  So what.  ;-)

Hopefully, when I go pay my $20 this whole experience will come to a close. 

I'll say it again...  YOU CANT FIX STUPID.

Celebrity Rehab….My Changed Heart….

I don’t watch much TV….never really have.  There’s just not that much that I’m actually interested in keeping up with.  Growing up, I remember watching:

 “Our House” (Chad Allen was such a cutie),

“Life Goes On” I loved Kelly Martin and thought the guy that played Tyler would someday be my boyfriend…and let’s not forget about Corky….I did impressions of him for several years (Lord forgive me)..

….and I LOVED “Touched By An Angel”.....

I remember crying every Sunday night when it came on. It was so motivational and had such a great message each week.  I couldn’t help myself….(Don’t make fun….I’ve been ridiculously sensitive my entire life)  It’s funny, I even remember Mom saying “oh, honey, it’s ok, you just have a real tender heart”….Aww, thanks for not making me feel like a freak, Mom.

 The only thing I watch now is THE BACHELOR and Grey’s Anatomy. I’m really not proud of either one of those, but hey, it’s entertainment….and that’s pretty much the extent of my TV watching. 

Enter Netflix. 

Not too long ago, Caleb got Netflix, and I think it’s amazing.  I mean, the other night when he was at kickball, I went through a lot of the menus on Netflix and discovered a Ronnie Milsap concert performance.  I MEAN REALLY!  It was fantastic.  I sat in his living room BLARING Ronnie Milsap and didn’t feel an ounce of shame…it was fantastic.   I discovered a scary movie (I seriously wish I had waited for a time that Caleb was home to watch too…. I was so scared), and most exciting, we have discovered a couple new TV shows that are quite good.  One in particular that has seriously captured my heart lately.  (I’ll tell you again….dont make fun…I truly cant control my overly emotional heart)

Celebrity Rehab (season 3) with Dr. Drew is painfully difficult for me to watch, and yet I cant stop. 

The participants included Heidi Fleiss (what a train wreck), Mindy McCready (when did she get so off track?!?!), Lisa D’Amato (stunningly gorgeous), McKenzie Phillips (what a fighter), Mike Starr (from Alice In Chains), Dennis Rodman (he did NOT capture my heart), and Tom Sizemore (actor from Saving Private Ryan)….to name a few.  Shortly into the 2^nd or 3^rd show I was tearing up at the trauma that these individuals have survived.  I mean, some HORRIFIC things have happened to them, and the damage as a result caused many of them to turn to substance abuse. 

McKenzie Phillips….holy cow.  It was obvious right away that she genuinely, honestly wanted to work the program and get better.  Her determination made me love her right away.  (Plus she got a call that her beloved dog had to be put to sleep while she was in rehab…(oh hell yes, I cried)….she was able to go to the vet to be with the dog, but still….as if she wasn’t going through enough!)

Lisa D’Amato….what a gorgeous, sweet girl, but her childhood was difficult for me to comprehend.  Oh my Lord….  What MOTHER can allow terrible, terrible things to happen to their child, be aware that they are happening and not come to their rescue?  That poor, defenseless little girl…. I cried for Lisa too. 

Heidi Fleiss….I mean, really….look at her.  She has like 20-something birds at her home and she lives alone out in the desert, essentially.  What a lonely, sad, person.  I love Mother Teresa and one of my favorite quotes of hers that kept coming to mind when I watched Heidi was “Loneliness is the greatest poverty known to man”….  (Her point was that as Christians we have the ability to love and to prevent loneliness in the people around us, and I think that is beautiful).  Anyway, Heidi’s sadness and loneliness just made me want to hug her and tell her she’s awesome and that I’d love to be her friend.

OK, I’ve only talked about 3 of them so far and MAN….all three have been ridiculously sad!  I watched, and began to really feel for these people and (literally, sometimes) cheered them on, or told them that they “can totally do this”….and to “be strong”.  (Yes, I’m sure Caleb was annoyed….but he understands me most of the time, so he let me talk passionately to my new friends on the TV)…..

Tom  Sizemore….. what a sad man.  My heart broke just watching him realize all that he had lost, and where his life ended up.  I sat on the couch just really pulling for him and hoping the rehab “sticks” and he will get healthy. 

Mindy McCready….man, I used to love her music!  What a talent….and a pretty girl.  How do you let a man hurt you like that, and go back, and almost die at the hands of an abuser?  You were at the top of the country charts….hot, talented, wealthy….. what did you not see in yourself that allowed you to be in a relationship like that?  Holy God….what went wrong….and when did prescription drugs start sounding like the answer?  Mindy seemed the most “normal” of the group, and was kind to the other residents.  I loved her pretty quickly.

My very favorite, though, was Mike Starr….the former bassist from the band “Alice In Chains”. 

I pretty much hate rock music, so I certainly didn’t expect to feel anything for him.  When he first came in, he was the one that was abusing the hardest drugs the most frequently.  When I heard him talk, and saw how he treated the other residents, I began to really like him.  He seemed to genuinely want to get better.  The lead singer from the band was his best friend and he died of an overdose.  This pain was still very real and very prevalent in Mike, and it was hard to watch him grieve.  He handled detox well considering all the HORRIBLE  stuff his body was going through.  I watched wanting SO BADLY for him to make it through and to stay strong.  On “Friends & Family” day he invited his late friend’s mother to join him.  It was EXTREMELY moving and bitter sweet to watch him process the grief with her.  The mom told him “stay here as long as you need to….just get better.  I love you, and Layne (the dead friend) would want that for you”.  OMG….yes, I was crying again.  Mike did well in rehab.  He took it seriously and worked really hard.  I became his biggest fan.  Seemed like such a decent guy with potential to be healthy and to be so much happier.  I wanted them all to get better….but I especially wanted Mike to.

A few episodes before the finale, I was feeling really proud of Mike and I turned to Caleb and said “I wonder if he stays sober.  I really hope he is one of the people that gets famous again and wildly successful in his sobriety”.  Caleb didn’t say anything and I said, “what….does he start using again?” and he said “He died a few months ago from a drug overdose”.

BRING ON THE WATER WORKS…..  What!?  No!!  Not Mike Starr…..nooooooo, he was going to get better and be happy and be an example to people all over that you CAN get better, and you CAN get your life back.

I cried.  I just sat on the couch and cried.  Yeah, I should be embarrassed….but I’m just not.  This is me….and I cant help it.  I watched these people talk about and try to work through all the pain that caused them to start using in the first place and then watched them realize they needed help, and take steps to get better and get SO CLOSE…. Oh my gosh!  It hurts me that this pain, sadness and helplessness is a reality for so many people.

The whole next day I thought about Mike Starr and truly felt a sadness for him, for his situation, for his family, and for his fans.  I was not a fan of the band, or the music, but I became a fan of his. He was so close and yet couldn’t quite stay the course.

Ya know what I realized?  These are just PEOPLE….not actors, and singers, models,  athletes and musicians….these are just every day people that struggle with the same stuff that we do, and feel the same feelings, and get bothered by the same things that we do….every day.  It also made me think about the people I work with, and walk by at Wal-Mart and drive next to on the freeway…. You just never know who is battling something, whose friend just died, who has been abused their whole life, whose spouse is hurting them, who didn’t get any sleep last night b/c they have a sick child, whose marriage is falling apart, who is only “ok” on the outside…..I mean, you just never know.  You wouldn’t have guessed that most of these people would end up in rehab and yet they did….they fall just like we all could.

My most AWFUL and most painful situations are absolutely NOTHING  and completely insignificant compared to the realities of the people on the screen before me.  I am really lucky.  I am lucky that I have the family that I have, that I was born in this country, that having more than enough is “normal” for me,  that growing up I was protected, sheltered, defended, safe, and that I have a support system that will either keep me from, or get me through my lowest points in life.

Our lives on this planet are ridiculously tough and some really horrific things happen here.  I am so grateful to know that this is not “it” for my life, and then it’s over….but that I have another, better, happier eternity waiting for me.  I pray that knowing that,  I will think twice next time I want to honk and tail gate the person that just absent mindedly pulled out in front of me, or is driving too slow, or is blocking the aisle at the grocery store. 

Lastly, and most importantly, I am so thankful to know the God of the Universe and to feel a sense of hope and promise from that relationship.  Things suck for me sometimes too…..but no matter how bad it gets, I know that I’m not alone, and that there are promises from the Lord that have never ever failed me.

I started watching Celebrity Rehab thinking it was just going to be ridiculous people paying the consequence for making stupid and irresponsible decisions.  I finished watching Celebrity Rehab with a softened heart, a grateful heart, and a promise to grant grace to those around me…..cuz you just never know who might need a break.