Workin' 9 to 5.....

I'm thankful to have the job that I have.  I mean, really....I am.  I believe in what we do, and more importantly, I believe in and support who our customers are with my entire heart.  I am proud of the things in which my company participates, sponsors & represents.   I cannot mention the company by name, or specify what we manufacture due to security reasons.  Really, I just dont want to get in trouble, or unknowingly say something that I'm not supposed to say in a public place like this here internet....but I'm quite sure I only have about 4 readers and all 4 of you already know my place of employment.  Soooo.....

With that being said, I would like to use this blog entry to vent about said place of employment.  I'm positive that those of you that call me "poopsie" would be surprised that I have chosen to spend ALL of my career so far at this disgusting place. This is not a typical "poopsie" surroundings.  Quite the contrary.  Our facilities truly are embarrassing, and just plain freaking nasty.  Allow me.....

Exhibit 1 -- Ramona

If you were sitting in my desk right now, and you looked up and about two ceiling tiles in front of me, this would be what you would see.  Let me introduce you to Ramona, the roach.  Unfortunately, Ramona went to roach heaven almost 4 years ago, but she remains (in body) in my sight for 9 hours a day while I work.  We have become friends.... I no longer gag when I look up at her, and she....well.... just just lays in that insect tanning bed and continues to broil every day.  She is truly an asset to the organization.

Exhibit 2 -- Vent Sprinkles

As I sat at my desk one day, I began to hear a crackling / sprinkling sound above me.  My natural reaction was to look upward to determine what it was.  At that time, I got a shower in my eyes (no lie) of dirt, dust, and God-knows-what-else.  This crap was coming OUT OF THE VENT directly above my desk and settling all over my things....not to mention in my eyes, hair, drink, keyboard, etc.  The picture above doesnt do it justice, but it was the best I could come up with.  We had a thin layer of dirt on the top of the shelves, the cubicle dividing wall, and my desk.  I mean, really.....can I sit at my desk, attempt to be a professional and not have SHIT fall out of the ceiling and land in my eyes?  Is THAT too much to ask?   WHO'S CALLING ME POOPSIE NOW???

I walked down the hall to my boss' cubicle and she asked me what was wrong (since it appeared I was crying).  I informed her that I was not actually crying, but that I just got a shower of DIRT from the vent above me, and some of it was in my eyes, thus causing the redness and watering.  She said she would immediately call maintenance to make sure that didnt happen again.  She called, and sent an email...I was cc'd so I know that she did in fact send it.  No response. 

(Note:  My employer is a union organization.  Many of the positions are represented (hourly / union) jobs.  I will blog about this in another entry, but suffice it to say that generally the mentality of the represented work force is VERY VERY different than that of the salaried workforce.  Nothing is urgent, and for-the-most-part, their goal is to do as LITTLE as possible during their 8 hour work shift.  Most of them exceed this impressive goal)

The maintenance crew is union represented, so we heard nothing back from them.  I was fine for about 2 days, until I got my second "shower of shit" from the ceiling.  I marched my happy ass back down the hall to my boss to inform her that my desk was again covered with dirt.  She again made a phone call.  This time, we got a response....3 days later, but hey, we cant be picky.  I'm sure the maintenance man was VERY busy dreaming up ways to not come to work, still make over time, and work as little as possible.  Dont judge....that takes brain power.  Anyway, Billy Bob showed up at my desk aggressively eating an apple (that's a nice way to word what appeared to be cud-chewing that I witnessed).  In the most perfect "typical union" southern boy, uneducated accent I was informed that "we dont do that..... another group will come and fix that problem".  My inner dialog was kick-started....."Ok Beth, dont get smart with this guy.  You need him, or you will possibly lose your vision from whatever debris is falling into your eyes or contract some terminal funk from drinking the crap that falls into your drinks.  Be kind to him....  kind to him?  He's chewing like he's been raised in a barn, and showed up to tell me he doesnt do this?  I dont care what he DOESNT do....I want whoever can fix this nonsense going on above my head....deep breath....."  I politely asked Billy Bob if he could expedite whoever the correct person was that could fix my little issue.  About 3 days later, I came in to work to find this.....

Exhibit 3 -- Filter Fix

Ok, this pic doesnt adequately depict what this truly is.  This is a bright purple covering over the vent.  My instruction was to "watch this b/c sometimes they fill up, get heavy and fall down from the weight of the debris that is being caught".  Oh, fabulous, so now instead of sprinkles, I will have just one giant DUMP of crap on my head?  Perfect....thank you for your help!  And oh yeah, they dont tell you that you dont feel heat or air coming out of this lovely "filter fix" either.  It is now January and we FREEZE because we no longer feel the heat coming from the vent.   Did I mention that I actually DO like my job??

Exhibit 4 -- Danger Warnings

Before providing the exhibit, allow me to preface this.  I have been working out in the building that houses our hazardous chemicals, paints, sealants, flammables, etc.  I am not actually in the warehouse part, but I am working a project in the cubicle area.  Today, I read this sign posted in the hallway between cubicles.

I'm sorry.....is this a joke??  I would assume it would have to be, or OSHA would have shut us down years ago (at least that's my hope).  I turn to the guy (who happens to be a union steward, no lie) and ask if that was a joke.  I KID YOU NOT..... His response was "I dont know, it's been there the whole time I've worked out here". 

HOLY GOD IN HEAVEN.....ARE YOU SERIOUS??  Um, I dont mean to alarm anyone, but cancer kills!!  I'm pretty freaking sure I would check into that before I accepted my workspace in a cubicle on the other side of the wall that holds this sign! I started laughing out loud (not professional, I know) and said to the group (about 5 of us)...."Is anyone else alarmed by this sign?  Um, has anyone READ this sign?"  At this point, they are now laughing with me and we all agree that no, no one had actually really read the sign.  I'm speechless. 

I believe Ron White said it best ......"you cant fix stupid"....... Touche.

Biggest Loser Weight Loss Challenge

Today marks day #1 of the Biggest Loser Weight Loss Challenge at work.  I am horrified and embarrassed at my true weight, so participating in a challenge where the actual weight is emailed out to all the participants made me sort of want to cry.....but I figure.....I HAVE TO do something....so participating with most of my favorite coworkers is probably a good idea.

The contest was $50 to participate and there will be two categories that will win money.....1--the most weight lost & 2--highest % lost.  Last year, the same person won both.  I would LOVE to have the money, but honestly, I'd love to lose the weight even more.  We will have 3 weigh ins....the initial one (today), a mid-point weigh in, and then the final weigh in.

My personal goal is to lose 30-35lbs by July....so if I havent hit my goal by the end of the weight loss challenge (April 18) I will keep going.  I realize this is a do-able plan, but it will not be easy.  I understand that if I want this to be weight that comes off and stays off then I need to treat this as a lifestyle change and not just a diet.  I'm trying to tell myself that I'm creating new habits, and it's more about feeling good and being healthy.  I'm trying to be positive about this, but the truth is that I'm scared.  I want this really bad.....and I want to be successful.....but I know how hard it is, and I know that my PCOS and crazy hormonal issues dont help my efforts at all. 

Today was actually a great success.  I'm WAY under the calories that I allotted for today, and I went to my first Zumba class.  It was really fun, and I certainly plan to go back.  I thought about my sisters the whole time.  It would be RIDICULOUSLY FUN if we lived close enough to take a class like this together. Kristi dances like a black girl anyway and she would for sure tear it up.  Karin has dance experience from cheerleading and just being musical.....so she would love it too.  I....well.....I have a ghetto booty like a black girl......that should count for something.....right?  :-)  Seriously, I totally enjoyed it, and felt like I was actually pretty good at it.   It is only a 45 minute class, and it goes by quickly b/c it's just fun.  My knee started to hurt a little bit, but it was mostly when I was twisting, so that is something I can modify. 

I will try to update every couple weeks on the weight loss challenge.  Hopefully the more people that know, the more encouraged I will feel and the more accountable I will be to sticking to the plan.  If I'm being honest, I believe that there are some people in my inner circle that doubt me, and dont expect me to be successful.  That actually just pisses me off and makes me sad....but now I want to prove them wrong....so I guess it's extra incentive.

Please say some prayers for my discipline, attitude, stamina, dedication, and success in this effort.  I'm tired of feeling the way I do, and being self conscious.  I know God did not put me here to feel that way about His creation (me)....so I need to get this resolved.  Thanks in advance for your prayers and encouragement.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."  2 Timothy 1:7

Agra, Kansas

I just spent the weekend in Kansas and totally enjoyed the experience. 

We arrived Thursday night after about a 9 hour trip.  It didn’t seem like anywhere close to 9 hours.  We talked, listened to music, made a couple stops, and the time seemed to just fly.  We got in around -11:45pm and sat down to chat with Caleb’s parents.  Honestly, before we knew it….the clock read 3am.

When we woke the next morning, we were greeted with the aroma of fresh baked cinnamon rolls on a plate in the kitchen.  Yum….I mean, really….yum.  Enough said. 

That afternoon, we headed out to Caleb’s grandparents farm so that he and his dad could “sight in” their rifles in preparation for hunting the remainder of the weekend. (not gonna lie….”sight in” is new term for me…basically, they were testing the rifles to make sure they shot as expected).  I wandered around and shot a few pictures of the farm and then sat in the truck with the dogs when the shooting began.  After a little bit, Caleb walked over and asked if I wanted to shoot.  My first response (fear of the unknown, I guess) was “no, that’s ok…I don’t think so”….then my curiosity got the best of me.  I quickly changed my mind with “Well, I guess so but I don’t know what I’m doing”. He and his Dad coached me for a short bit and I was ready to pull the trigger!  I actually totally loved it.  When we walked to the target, I actually shot pretty decent.  I was proud of myself!  ……just call me Sarah Palin!

The remainder of our weekend consisted of excellent food, great visits, lots of laughs, relaxation, and for the boys, hunting.  They woke up early Saturday and Sunday to head out to hunt and seemed to really enjoy the time.  I too, enjoyed the same time that they were hunting…..as it consisted of remaining warm, and snug in bed!

Kansas is just cool….literally and figuratively.  I found the small town, calm, friendly atmosphere to be quite refreshing.  There was no traffic noise in the background, no busy shopping centers or traffic congestion to contend with…..just an occasional train passing through town and good people that seem to care about each other and have been friends/neighbors for years.  Very cool.

Other things I discovered while in Kansas….

1.   I very much like Caleb’s mom’s iced tea.  I’m generally not a tea drinker, as I always seem to reach for diet coke. …but her tea was outstanding and I drank A LOT of it!

2.   I also like hot Chai tea….very much.  It had a milk/cinnamon/just plain yummy taste and I’m planning to go buy some when we get home. 

3.   Caleb was an absolutely ADORABLE child.  I mean, I wish I had a pic to upload.  He had a very sweet smile, and looked like just a really good kid.  Awwww, just thinking about it makes me smile.  Too, too cute.

4.   I like pheasant! Caleb and his dad shot a couple and brought them home….good stuff.  I even witnessed the pheasant cleaning process.  I handled it better than expected.  I thought I would gag and get queasy.  I did not.  Maybe I’m not the weenie I thought I was?

While the guys were out hunting, I was able to sit and chat with Calebs mom.  I totally, totally enjoyed the time and getting to learn about her family, about the boys, about some experiences she’s had, and about her opinions.  I find her to be an incredibly strong woman with an admirable faith.  I’m glad to get to know her better, and I look forward to continuing to do so.

Sunday morning it began to snow and I was giddy but tried to remain calm.   It was really pretty to see everything covered in white.  On our way out of town we drove around Agra and I got to see the “downtown” area.  I saw Caleb’s middle school & high school, the local post office, the Legion Hall where he attended Prom, Boy Scout meetings, dances, etc.  I (of course) snapped a few photos….

Overall, this was a wonderful, relaxing weekend.  His parents were awesome hosts, and I enjoyed the opportunity to see where he came from.  Back to the grind tomorrow.....

Christmas Blessings

I had a great Christmas.....always do. Each year, I am reminded of how incredibly lucky I am to have the family that I do. I got some kick ass things for Christmas....namely this Netbook Computer that I'm using at this very moment......I absolutely love it. It's lightweight and fits in my purse, but still does all that I need it to. Super cool.

I had a lot to be excited about this year..... I LOVED that Caleb spent Christmas with my family, I LOVED baking at home with my mom. I LOVED that Karin and Brent are married and were having their first married Christmas with us. I LOVED that I am one of the very few people I know that still have grandparents and I got to see all 3 of them over the holiday. I LOVED that my sisters and I had a lunch with dad that was relaxed and fun, and funny, and filled with just really precious time together that we usually dont have. I LOVED being able to attend Mahgee & Grandpa's 69th wedding anniversary dinner. I LOVED being with Abby and AJ and preparing for Santa's visit. I LOVED hearing about the things Santa brought, and the snacks that he and the reindeer ate when they were delivering gifts. I LOVED being with the Gordons and sharing in the excitement and joys of their family. I really had a lot to be thankful for and to be excited about.

I am over-joyed that the things listed above are normal, awesome blessings that I get to enjoy. Despite all these truly special things, none of them were my favorite Christmas memory. Honestly, the greatest Christmas blessing this year was seeing how much the people that I love stepped up and took care of the residents of a local nursing home. This is not the first year we have participated in this holiday charity....but each year, I am truly moved and honored to even know these people.....let alone be related to most of them!

It is truly a group effort to pull off sponsoring as many residents as we do.....but each and every person delivers on the promise of bringing cheer to the elderly that are so often forgotten. When I email the list of adoptable residents, it is usually a matter of minutes before people start emailing back with the names of the residents they want to sponsor. Everyone shops, spends money, and gift wraps with beautiful and generous hearts. Dad then collects all the presents and drives them to Waco where I meet him to transfer gifts from his truck to my car. This is honestly a very moving, very heart-warming event. I shouldnt be surprised, but each year, I am overwhelmed at all of the beautiful gift bags and flowing tissue paper. These gifts are not just carelessly purchased and thrown in cheap bags. They are wrapped, labeled and made beautiful as if going to our very own family members.

This year, when the gifts from family in Austin were combined with gifts from me & the FW peeps, they wouldnt all fit into my vehicle. WHAT A FABULOUS PROBLEM!!!!! As luck would have it, I was unavailable at the time that the gifts needed to be provided to the nursing home point of contact.....

Enter Caleb and Scott. (big hugs, big hugs). Both of these guys loaded up their vehicles.... (I mean to the tippy top....not a square inch of extra space) and got these gifts delivered on time.

It is my honor each year to attend the nursing home Christmas party when the gifts are passed out to all the residents. This year was probably the best one yet. Below is a picture of all of the gifts that were awaiting the residents when they entered the dining hall.

When the gifts were being passed out, I stood along the wall in the back of the room and just watched as so many of these precious, wonderful souls beamed with excitement that there was actually something for them in the pile. I have no doubt that God intentionally drew my attention to a black lady a few tables away that just so happened to be receiving one of the gifts that I donated. As soon as it was set down in front of her she covered her face and exclaimed "look at this beautiful bag....I cant believe someone would do this for me". A lump rose in my throat.

She struggled with getting some of the items out of the bag, so I approached her and asked if I could assist. Her wonderful, warm smile accepted my offer and she said "This is a great day.....I just cant believe this is happening. Look at all the things in this bag. Oh, thank you to whoever did this for me". The lump in my throat grew. Literally, seconds later, the resident in front of me was approached from behind by a couple of ladies that had just arrived at the facility. When she turned to see who it was, she grabbed my arm with one hand, and buried her head with the other hand and began to cry. "Oh my" she exclaimed....."is this really happening?". It only took a second for her to look up through her tears inform me that the woman behind her was her sister from Michigan who came to surprise her for Christmas. By this point, the lump in my throat was massive, and I was trying not to cry. Thank you, God, for allowing me to witness this and to have played a small part in providing this woman with a great day.

I fully understand the incredible power and gift of having sisters......and I know that I would have reacted in EXACTLY the same way. I was really excited to get to see the result of my time, effort, and money for this resident that was essentially a stranger to me. It was truly a special gift to see her having such an awesome day with unexpected gifts and visitors.

I am not permitted to take pictures of the residents, or I would have snapped shots of all the people that received gifts from my friends and family.....but since this particular resident had family right there with her to grant me permission, I was allowed to get a picture with my resident and her sister. I was honored.

Speaking of unexpected, but appreciated surprises..... I received a card in the mail today from the family of the resident above thanking me. It even included a picture of me with the resident. It's actually better than the pic above but I dont know how to scan it.....so too bad.

Ok, I could talk forever about this.....but I'll wrap it up. I am overwhelmed, and immensely grateful..... specifically for the people (you know who you are) that participated in sponsoring the elderly this year. It was the highlight of my holiday. I cant thank you enough for your kind and generous hearts. You are truly incredible people.

Matthew 25:40 "Whatever you do to the least of my brothern, you have done unto me"

HAPPY NEW YEAR…..I hope….

We head back to work tomorrow. Hello, 2011. Not sure how I feel about you being here. I mean, besides the fact that I thought I would be a stay at home mom, with no debt, a nice house, husband and two children…. I’m doing well. I work full time, my debt stresses me horribly, I live in a rented house, have no husband and no children…..just a large, hairy golden retriever/ridgeback dog that I love with my entire heart. BUUUUUTTTTT, notwithstanding all of that, I’m doing well. Sigh. Maybe 2011 will be the year that some of “my plan” falls into place…. Or maybe God will use another 12 months to demonstrate to me that my plan really means nothing….absolutely not anything…at all…..which honestly, when I’m not feeling sorry for myself, I’m abundantly grateful for. I have no doubt whatsoever that the God of the universe can orchestrate a far better plan than my own….. but trusting a plan that I don’t see or understand is one of the biggest struggles of my existence.

So seriously, we go back to work tomorrow. I got a decent amount of things done over the break, but it really didn’t feel all that relaxing. Austin is always pretty busy and not much just CHILL OUT time, but I wouldn’t trade that for the world. Being back here in Fort Worth has been good, but the four days have flown, and while I’ve gotten some things done I didn’t get to everything. Oh well, I guess it gives me an opportunity to act on one of my resolutions for the year…..to spend more time alone and be more independent. I’ll use the “alone time” to finish up the cleaning, read more, and just THINK. I feel like God has done the most with me when I was going through breakups and/or “alone time” to really just think, and cry, and think some more. I guess I’m feeling like I need that. Who the hell knows what I need?? Cherry vodka, maybe? No, I’m kidding. Really, I am.

So here they are….. my goals for the year…..we’ll see how well I do with them…

1. Exercise….in some form, 3 times each week (hidden in this goal is the sub-goal of losing 30lbs by July….my weight has never been this outrageously high and I’m dangerously close to the point that I said I would jump off a building if I ever reached)

2. Cook something…..at least once a week

3. Read a book per month

4. PAY OFF DEBT….. ugh, this one makes me want to throw up. Its hard to put a plan together when you don’t have the money!

5. Journal….in the form of a blog…. (welcome! I’m off to a good start on this one)

6. Try to care less….about everything.

The last one is the only one that I really don’t know how to track or implement. I mean, how do you change who you truly are? It’s like trying to make my eyes not be brown….they just are. But we’ll see….I’m going to try to consciously decide that I don’t care about things. I don’t want to be upset or feel as much as I do….I’d rather just be able to have a “oh well” sort of an attitude. Wish me luck.

So there ya go…. I’m now officially a blogger. Thanks for reading….you are one of a select few that have been given this blog site address….and subsequently access to the party that is going on in my head all the time. Brace yourself…..sometimes it even scares ME! :-)