Coming from someone that NEVER saw the deer when the family would drive around looking for deer... (Don’t laugh…. you don’t know what it feels like for the whole family to be shouting “Bethie!! IT’S RIGHT THERE!!!!" and still not see anything)…..or from someone that has never been able to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night without feeling the bedside table for glasses.....this whole procedure is seriously WOW.
I’ll go ahead and confess…. I always have had a fear that I would need to flee my house in the middle of the night, (who knows why) and wouldn’t have time to get my glasses and I’d be helpless…. Or worse yet, I get abducted and I cant even help myself get to safety b/c I cant see anything. This surgery has provided a comfort that if something bad happens, I will be ok. (well, especially when combined with the handgun in my purse once I complete my CHL license application....that’s another blog entry)
Caleb took me to the appointment and I began to grow more and more nervous as the appointment time approached. They come out and give you a valium and about 20 minutes to let it start working. Holy God, I needed it. When I walked into the laser suite, I could FEEL my heart beating/pounding. I was extremely nervous. The thought of someone cutting (laser or not) is unsettling, and the realization that if there are any problems, screw ups, or complications, this is your SIGHT at stake is just plain scary.
I knew I wanted to do this procedure, and I knew I would love it…..but I was freaked out. Enter little valium pill. By the end of the procedure, I really just didn’t care about much. My doctor was fantastic and talked me through everything he was doing, so I knew exactly what was going on and I knew how much longer I had. He would tell me “this is going to take 15 seconds”, etc. and then the nurse would actually count down until they were finished. I loved that. If my mind started to get crazy, I could counter it with “only 5 more seconds…..4…3…2…1…..whew…..we’re good”.
The place that did my surgery allows for people to watch the procedure being done. The surgery suite is behind a glass wall, and the surgery itself is shown on a big TV monitor in the waiting room. Caleb snapped a few pics while I was in there.
This first one is me gripping the bottom of my sweatshirt in total terror.
Here’s a few close ups of my eyeball. Yuck.
Caleb laughed at me on the way home…..I was kinda in a valium-happy-state....slouched in my chair and was blabbing about who knows what. I told him that I didn’t know my doctor’s first name, but I would name him something fitting. I came up with Calvin. No idea where that came from, but that’s what he got. (I’ve since learned that his name is Anthony, so I wasn’t even close). I also laughed that they kept calling Caleb my husband. Hee hee. Not really sure why that was funny to me either....especially since he really is going to actually be my husband.....but at the time it was funny.
I went home, took a nap like they advised, and woke up totally overwhelmed at the fact that the ceiling fan was clear, and I could see the design on the fan blades. I looked over and could tell the name of the books on the bedside table. I could clearly read the decorative verse I have hanging over the bathroom door….. I mean, I could SEE!!!!!!
I’m not gonna lie….the next two weeks were not as awesome. My night vision was pretty much ZERO….so I couldn’t go anywhere after work since it gets dark on the way home. My vision in my right eye was pretty much terrible for most of the first week. I had to go back to the doctor 3 extra times b/c one of my eyes was inflamed and the anti-inflammatory drops didn’t seem to be doing much. I was horrifically moody and upset at the entire ordeal for the first week. It's tough to convince yourself that everything is fine when you can't see and can't correct it.
I’m happy to report that my vision IS better, and I feel good about the surgery. I want it to be 100% all the time, but he said it could take several months for that to be the reality. We’re not there yet. For now, it comes & goes….most of the time it’s good, other times one of my eyes is blurry and annoying.
LASIK dries out your eyes real bad too, so I’m constantly putting artificial tears in my eyes. Ugh. Kinda hate that b/c it runs down my face and people ask if I’m crying all the time. Grrr. Supposedly, these are just the inconveniences of the initial months post-op. I can handle it.
Anyway, so far, so good. I love it, I think it’s amazing that it can even be done, and I’m expecting a full recovery with 20/20 vision.
Don’t pull any funny stuff. I.SEE.YOU.
